Something that really bothers me is the fact that i’m being under-estimated pretty much ever single day at my job. It’s sad. Especially since i have proven data and experience behind my skills. That’s why (i hope) i was hired to begin with. What i think contributes to me being under estimated are a few things:
- I have an accent
- I am firm and i ask questions
- I’m not butt ugly
- I’m a woman
I came across a post from TinyBuddah.com about what to do when being under estimated… This section resonated with me:
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Prove Them Wrong
The people who are doing the underestimating think they know something about you that, for some reason, you don’t know about yourself. You, however, have the home court advantage; you know more about yourself than anyone else ever can or will.
You know how valuable you truly are.
You know from what place most of these people are speaking.
You know that you can communicate with someone who will lift you up.
And, at the end of the day, you are the one with the plan for your life. You are the one who knows how successful you are and can continue to be.
So, you are the only one who can put one foot in front of the other and just keep on moving, even when others think they know the exact reason why you should stop. You are the only one who can prove them wrong.
In the end, you are the one in control. No matter what anyone thinks or says, you choose your life and your path.
If you know your own value and keep moving forward, if you understand the mindset of the people around you and hold on to those closest to you who love you, you will begin to see a transformation in the perceptions of those you encounter throughout your life and within yourself.
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Very recently i came across this quote:
“One of the best opportunities you can be given in life is to be underestimated.”
To me, this means that you have absolutely nothing to loose. Because of that you can take certain risks that others can not.
Mean Girls…
Adult mean girls are found just about everywhere you go and their primary focus is to make your life miserable. They are manipulative and sometimes narcissistic.
Typically, adult mean girls use relational aggression such as verbal bullying, gossiping, spreading rumors, name-calling, ostracizing and general bullying to demean, intimidate and harass their targets. Sometimes, other women will even join in the attacks. Other times, they remain silent bystanders or go along with the bullying.
If these mean behaviors sound like something you are experiencing in the workplace, check out these 4 tips for dealing with and confronting adult mean girls.
Be confident.
Office mean girls have the uncanny ability to discern whom they can control and manipulate. So no matter what they do, be sure you smile, stay strong and remain professional. Mean girls are less likely to try their tactics on you again if you remain confident and in control. Keep your chin up and do not give in to the pressure. They are looking for weakness and when they find it, they will exploit it.
Recognize what is controllable and what isn’t.
Remember, you have no control over what other people say or do. But, you do have control over your response. Remain professional, no matter what an adult mean girl says or does. Keep your responses free of emotion and anger. And if you cannot respond in a calm manner, simply walk away. Then, brainstorm how to deal with the situation in the future. Be prepared if there is another attack.
Stand up for yourself.
Learn how to be assertive and self-confident. Learn to defend yourself in a respectful manner without being aggressive or mean in return. For instance, be clear that this woman’s remarks and bullying tactics are unprofessional and will not be tolerated. Show them that they made a mistake in targeting you and they will learn to leave you alone.
Continue to work hard.
Do not allow office mean girl behavior to derail you at work. For instance, do not spend time firing off e-mails or talking with other co-workers about what is happening. Doing so creates drama and gives the mean girl exactly what she wants. Instead, focus on continuing to produce high quality work. Do not allow the turmoil caused by another’s actions cause you to fall behind on projects.
